Progression 2: Essay 2 Draft

Gibran Sheikh

Professor Macklin

English 115

14 October 2012

Modern Chivalry: A Decline to the Gentleman’s Code

            Modern chivalry, the code of male ethics, is one of the abstract concepts in life that some males abide to. While some men choose to live the so-called “thug life”, others are aware that this “thug life” is of no use to anyone; therefore, these men display chivalry. These are the men that society depicts as “gentlemen”, or simply men with respect and the consideration of others. The concept of modern chivalry is known throughout the world by men and women as “the gentleman’s code” and such a code is known to be useful in the presence of other men and women, “the fair ladies”. It used to be that a man was only worthy of being such a gentleman if  he showed honor, loyalty, and respect towards others; however, it seems that to this day men have become lesser than that of what they used to be. It seems that a modern day society no longer has use for a man’s chivalry, but in reality, chivalry is one of those male codes that call for gestures pleasant to others. In other words, chivalry is what a gentleman goes by to make his day and the days of others brighter. Nowadays some people do not need the respect of others, let alone men, to function with their everyday lives, but that doesn’t mean a person should stop being courteous towards another. Evidently nowadays the concept of chivalry has noticeably diminished, and people are becoming much more self-sufficient, leaving men to be displayed no longer as gentlemen but should the concept of man’s chivalry really subside?

            An image that displays the decline in chivalry depicts a man and a woman together, the man in the couple has his gaze fixed on another woman passing by, while the woman in the couple has a thought bubble; in it she thinks about a princely gentleman with a rose for her at her window. Some of the messages that emanate from the image are that men aren’t how they used to be, or the “knights in shining armor” simply aren’t there anymore. This being said, it is clear that certain women aren’t finding what they want. The National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) states a divorce rate that is half as high as the marriage rate in the United Sates. With that statistic, it appears difficult for men and women both to find someone to their liking. Marriage is defined as the union between couples; who have decided to spend the rest of their lives with each other. Sometimes the part of “spending the rest of their lives with each other” doesn’t come across the couples minds, and that may lead to a divorce, other times it’s for other reasons.  Usually a divorce is not due to the lack of physical appeal or wealth; it is due to the couple’s incompatibility to communicate. Chivalry is important in a marriage because not only does a man show respect to his wife, but the two learn to communicate better and learn to care for each other easily. A man being a gentleman with his spouse is something women look forward to in a marriage because it makes them happy, it makes them feel like “queens”, and everyone knows that if a man’s wife is happy, that man is happy. Man’s chivalry towards others is something that is needed in a successful marriage, and without it, most married couples will struggle to work. Perhaps in some cases it is not always the man who makes the mistake, but this does not mean such a man should stop his display of courteousness. An honorable man should not be tempted to completely lose all his respect about a certain situation, especially one that calls for divorce.

            As a society progresses, we can easily observe how men and women interact with one another, and thus it is surely apparent that a society’s dependence on man has slightly died down. For example, there is an increase in the number of stay-at-home fathers, nearly double that of what it used to be in the past decade (U.S Census Bureau). That being said, it is apparent that some men today aren’t the ones in the workplace; therefore, women are the ones being depended on, rather than the men. It used to be that the men bring home the bacon, the women cook the bacon, and the children eat the bacon; but this idea doesn’t seem to pertain to some families in the modern day society. It seems that in a modern society, dependence on man isn’t where it used to be. Dependence on a man was something that chivalry thrived on, but as modern society continues to grow on its own, it is evident that this is something chivalry can no longer thrive on. Formerly, it was proper that when men and women dined, women would be served first, and men last, giving the idea that the man was ultimately responsible for the bill. Presently, however, we see that while some restaurants may still follow this basis of servitude, others may choose to serve men and women in matters they choose. In other words, it is recognizable that women may actually be served last and may be responsible for the bill. In the case of a couple, where chivalry is most needed, a woman paying for the food seems to take away from the man. It’s a nice gesture for a woman to pay for the meal, but if the man was looking for an opportunity to display chivalry, he has lost it. Now some may say that a woman paying a bill is really no different than a man paying a bill, and honestly, that is true, but it’s the fact that counts, and in the case of men, it’s what defines them.

            Modern chivalry is what men go by to make their lives easier and the lives of others a bit more meaningful. It is an abstract concept derived by “gentlemen” to serve as a basis for the male code of life. Not all gentlemen go by it, but those who do are those who warm the hearts of others; however, it is notable that modern day society has seen a decline and overall “death” in chivalry and the men who display it. It is up to modern day society to look into those who do display it and therefore change them from being defined as merely men to that of a gentleman.